{"id":5809,"date":"2020-02-04T15:21:30","date_gmt":"2020-02-04T06:21:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-9-happy-being-single\/"},"modified":"2022-09-07T12:32:59","modified_gmt":"2022-09-07T03:32:59","slug":"chapter-9-happy-being-single","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/de\/chapter-9-happy-being-single\/","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 9: Happy Being Single"},"content":{"rendered":"<div  class=\"x-accordion-group\" ><div class=\"x-accordion-heading\"><a id=\"tab-662d7896b7a84\" class=\"x-accordion-toggle collapsed\" role=\"tab\" data-x-toggle=\"collapse-b\" data-x-toggleable=\"662d7896b7a84\" aria-selected=\"false\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"panel-662d7896b7a84\"><i class='x-framework-icon x-shortcode-accordion-icon' data-x-icon-s='&#x2b;' aria-hidden=true><\/i><span>Philippians 4:12-13 (NIV)<\/span><\/a><\/div><div id=\"panel-662d7896b7a84\" class=\"x-accordion-body x-collapsed\" role=\"tabpanel\" data-x-toggle-collapse=\"1\" data-x-toggleable=\"662d7896b7a84\" aria-hidden=\"true\" aria-labelledby=\"tab-662d7896b7a84\"><div class=\"x-accordion-inner\">\n<p>I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<p>The apostle Paul\u2019s words speak about having an attitude of gratitude and contentment in whatever state of life we find ourselves in.<\/p>\n<p>I really believe we can apply these words to the subject of being single.<\/p>\n<h2>What You Shouldn\u2019t Do When You Are \u2018Single\u2019<\/h2>\n<p>1. <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t focus on being single as a negative! If you <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">focus on what you haven\u2019t got, you will start to <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">feel sorry for yourself and you will miss seeing <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">the good things which you do have right now.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>2. <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t expect marriage to solve all your <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">problems. Who you are when you are single <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">is who you will be when you are married. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marriage won\u2019t change everything, it won\u2019t <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">change who you are. Only you, with God\u2019s <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">help, can change who you are.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>3. <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t look at guys\/girls that you meet, as <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">potential and non-potential. Be respectful and <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">friendly to everyone <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">and keep <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">an open mind.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>4. <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t be jealous when others find a partner, but <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">rejoice with them. This is what good friends do.<\/span><\/p>\n<div  class=\"x-accordion-group\" ><div class=\"x-accordion-heading\"><a id=\"tab-662d7896b7b39\" class=\"x-accordion-toggle collapsed\" role=\"tab\" data-x-toggle=\"collapse-b\" data-x-toggleable=\"662d7896b7b39\" aria-selected=\"false\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"panel-662d7896b7b39\"><i class='x-framework-icon x-shortcode-accordion-icon' data-x-icon-s='&#x2b;' aria-hidden=true><\/i><span>Romans 12:15 (NIV)<\/span><\/a><\/div><div id=\"panel-662d7896b7b39\" class=\"x-accordion-body x-collapsed\" role=\"tabpanel\" data-x-toggle-collapse=\"1\" data-x-toggleable=\"662d7896b7b39\" aria-hidden=\"true\" aria-labelledby=\"tab-662d7896b7b39\"><div class=\"x-accordion-inner\">\n<p>Rejoice with those who rejoice; and mourn with those who mourn.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>5. <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t isolate yourself! Don\u2019t be stuck in your <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">own circle of comfort (friends).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>6. Don\u2019t compare yourself with others. God has a different plan for all of us.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>7. <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t be in such a hurry to change your <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">circumstances that you rush blindly into a <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">relationship without giving it the necessary <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">consideration. It is better to be single than in a <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">relationship you later regret.<\/span><\/p>\n<div  class=\"x-accordion-group\" ><div class=\"x-accordion-heading\"><a id=\"tab-662d7896b7b8a\" class=\"x-accordion-toggle collapsed\" role=\"tab\" data-x-toggle=\"collapse-b\" data-x-toggleable=\"662d7896b7b8a\" aria-selected=\"false\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"panel-662d7896b7b8a\"><i class='x-framework-icon x-shortcode-accordion-icon' data-x-icon-s='&#x2b;' aria-hidden=true><\/i><span>Proverbs 21:9 (NIV)<\/span><\/a><\/div><div id=\"panel-662d7896b7b8a\" class=\"x-accordion-body x-collapsed\" role=\"tabpanel\" data-x-toggle-collapse=\"1\" data-x-toggleable=\"662d7896b7b8a\" aria-hidden=\"true\" aria-labelledby=\"tab-662d7896b7b8a\"><div class=\"x-accordion-inner\">\n<p>Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife (or husband).<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<h2>Your Questions<\/h2>\n<h5>Question 1<\/h5>\n<p>Is it good for a man\/woman to remain single?<\/p>\n<h5>Answer 1<\/h5>\n<div  class=\"x-accordion-group\" ><div class=\"x-accordion-heading\"><a id=\"tab-662d7896b7bec\" class=\"x-accordion-toggle collapsed\" role=\"tab\" data-x-toggle=\"collapse-b\" data-x-toggleable=\"662d7896b7bec\" aria-selected=\"false\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"panel-662d7896b7bec\"><i class='x-framework-icon x-shortcode-accordion-icon' data-x-icon-s='&#x2b;' aria-hidden=true><\/i><span>1 Corinthians 7:1-2,7<\/span><\/a><\/div><div id=\"panel-662d7896b7bec\" class=\"x-accordion-body x-collapsed\" role=\"tabpanel\" data-x-toggle-collapse=\"1\" data-x-toggleable=\"662d7896b7bec\" aria-hidden=\"true\" aria-labelledby=\"tab-662d7896b7bec\"><div class=\"x-accordion-inner\">\n<p><strong>1 Corinthians 7:1-2 (NIV)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Now for the matters you wrote about: \u201cIt is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman (remain celibate).\u201d But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband \u2026<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>1 Corinthians 7:7 (NIV)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I wish that all of you were as I am (single). But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<p>It seems this question was being asked back in the day \u2026 and the answer is simple; it is both good to be married and it\u2019s also good to remain single. The question for you is \u2013 are you physically able to live all your life without sexual intimacy? If trying to live without it leads you into immorality, then its better that you marry. It seems that to be single or married is a gift, you don\u2019t have to try too hard to receive a gift, you either have it or you don\u2019t, you\u2019re either able or not able.<\/p>\n<h5>Question 2<\/h5>\n<p>Is masturbation an option for single Christian guys\/girls?<\/p>\n<h5>Answer 2<\/h5>\n<p>There is nothing in the Bible that addresses the subject of masturbation. However the Bible does address the subject of how we use our imagination.<\/p>\n<div  class=\"x-accordion-group\" ><div class=\"x-accordion-heading\"><a id=\"tab-662d7896b7c5a\" class=\"x-accordion-toggle collapsed\" role=\"tab\" data-x-toggle=\"collapse-b\" data-x-toggleable=\"662d7896b7c5a\" aria-selected=\"false\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"panel-662d7896b7c5a\"><i class='x-framework-icon x-shortcode-accordion-icon' data-x-icon-s='&#x2b;' aria-hidden=true><\/i><span>Matthew 5:27-28<\/span><\/a><\/div><div id=\"panel-662d7896b7c5a\" class=\"x-accordion-body x-collapsed\" role=\"tabpanel\" data-x-toggle-collapse=\"1\" data-x-toggleable=\"662d7896b7c5a\" aria-hidden=\"true\" aria-labelledby=\"tab-662d7896b7c5a\"><div class=\"x-accordion-inner\">\n<p>You have heard that it was said, \u2018You shall not commit adultery.\u2019 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman (man) lustfully has already committed adultery with her (him) in his (her) heart.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<p>To look at someone lustfully requires imagination. And what Jesus is saying here is that we will be held responsible for how we use our imagination. It is my personal opinion that masturbation is ok as long as it does not break the limitations set out for us by this scripture. That means, you can\u2019t drop an image of someone that you know into the framework of your imagination, nor can you use pornography. Some people might say \u2018that\u2019s impossible!\u2019 If you feel that way, then masturbation is not for you.<\/p>\n<h5>Question 3<\/h5>\n<p>I\u2019m in my late 30s and not married. What do you think of internet matchmaking services?<\/p>\n<h5>Answer 3<\/h5>\n<p>Keep your options open but be wary of Internet matchmaking services. If you\u2019re set on this option, be careful of sharing personal information &#8211; like home and work address &#8211; and always meet in public places.Unfortunately, there are predators using these services too, and some of them could be dangerous. It might seem like an easy search you can make from the comfort of your own home, but at some point you will need to meet in person. People on the Internet are rehearsed and on their best behavior. You don\u2019t really know what they\u2019re like until you meet and see them in<br \/>\ndifferent settings and how they interact with other people etc.<\/p>\n<p>On closer observation, some people in their late 30\u2019s have turned down expressions of interest from people they know in the real world, because they feel: they\u2019re not cool or well dressed enough, or don\u2019t earn enough money, etc. Interestingly, the Internet matches might equally fall short of expectations (except you don\u2019t know it yet). We must also acknowledge the destructive role of pornography when it comes to setting unrealistic expectations.<\/p>\n<p>Our advice is to give the people you know a chance. Those who married early, married someone who wasn\u2019t particularly cool or well dressed, and probably didn\u2019t earn a lot of money, but married them anyway because they were confident about the person\u2019s character and saw potential. They were prepared to work together on the things that could improve or change. In our opinion, look for someone who has character, potential, flexibility, and is open to change.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2>Tips for Singles<\/h2>\n<p>1. Focus on what you do have now and on building a strong foundation in the following areas:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Relationship with God and People<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Serving Others<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Journaling and Prayer<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Joyfulness<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Character<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Work\/Career<\/span><\/li>\n<li>Finance<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Be the best that you can be in these areas, so that you can attract the best partner.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>2. Focus on others! This is the right motivation. This is the motivation that God blesses.<\/p>\n<div  class=\"x-accordion-group\" ><div class=\"x-accordion-heading\"><a id=\"tab-662d7896b7ca5\" class=\"x-accordion-toggle collapsed\" role=\"tab\" data-x-toggle=\"collapse-b\" data-x-toggleable=\"662d7896b7ca5\" aria-selected=\"false\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"panel-662d7896b7ca5\"><i class='x-framework-icon x-shortcode-accordion-icon' data-x-icon-s='&#x2b;' aria-hidden=true><\/i><span>James 4:2-3 (NIV)<\/span><\/a><\/div><div id=\"panel-662d7896b7ca5\" class=\"x-accordion-body x-collapsed\" role=\"tabpanel\" data-x-toggle-collapse=\"1\" data-x-toggleable=\"662d7896b7ca5\" aria-hidden=\"true\" aria-labelledby=\"tab-662d7896b7ca5\"><div class=\"x-accordion-inner\">\n<p>You desire but you do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<p>It is not about you and what you can get from a relationship but it\u2019s about giving the best that you can give to someone else. So start practicing while you are still single. Be the best, so you can give the best.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>3. Like who you are \u2013 have a healthy self esteem. Know your creator, know that you are his masterpiece, and know that his work is marvelous &#8211; YOU.<\/p>\n<div  class=\"x-accordion-group\" ><div class=\"x-accordion-heading\"><a id=\"tab-662d7896b7ceb\" class=\"x-accordion-toggle collapsed\" role=\"tab\" data-x-toggle=\"collapse-b\" data-x-toggleable=\"662d7896b7ceb\" aria-selected=\"false\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"panel-662d7896b7ceb\"><i class='x-framework-icon x-shortcode-accordion-icon' data-x-icon-s='&#x2b;' aria-hidden=true><\/i><span>Psalm 139:13-14 (NKJV)<\/span><\/a><\/div><div id=\"panel-662d7896b7ceb\" class=\"x-accordion-body x-collapsed\" role=\"tabpanel\" data-x-toggle-collapse=\"1\" data-x-toggleable=\"662d7896b7ceb\" aria-hidden=\"true\" aria-labelledby=\"tab-662d7896b7ceb\"><div class=\"x-accordion-inner\">\n<p>For you formed my inward parts; you covered me in my mother\u2019s womb. I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows full well.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>4. Break out of your circle of friends. Have a plan to meet new people, regardless of what age, background, or nationality.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>5. Journaling and simple prayer will help you recognize God\u2019s will and plan for your life. God\u2019s plans for you are good and better than you can imagine. So prepare to receive the plans God has for you.<\/p>\n<div  class=\"x-accordion-group\" ><div class=\"x-accordion-heading\"><a id=\"tab-662d7896b7d2e\" class=\"x-accordion-toggle collapsed\" role=\"tab\" data-x-toggle=\"collapse-b\" data-x-toggleable=\"662d7896b7d2e\" aria-selected=\"false\" aria-expanded=\"false\" aria-controls=\"panel-662d7896b7d2e\"><i class='x-framework-icon x-shortcode-accordion-icon' data-x-icon-s='&#x2b;' aria-hidden=true><\/i><span>Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)<\/span><\/a><\/div><div id=\"panel-662d7896b7d2e\" class=\"x-accordion-body x-collapsed\" role=\"tabpanel\" data-x-toggle-collapse=\"1\" data-x-toggleable=\"662d7896b7d2e\" aria-hidden=\"true\" aria-labelledby=\"tab-662d7896b7d2e\"><div class=\"x-accordion-inner\">\n<p>\u201cFor I know the plans I have for you,\u201d declares the Lord, \u201cplans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>6. Be dependent on God, not on people.People are not perfect and they can\u2019t live up to all your expectations or satisfy all your emotional needs. If you\u2019re looking for someone to do that you\u2019ll be disappointed and risk scaring them away when they realize there\u2019s no way to satisfy you. So turn to God for what you need. His love is perfect and always satisfies.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>7. See pornography as an enemy. It has the power to prevent people from entering into a lasting relationship. It does this by providing an instant sexual substitute, and setting unrealistic expectations. In real life, nothing happens instantly, and people are not perfectly staged to meet your desires. In real life, we have to collaborate, negotiate, communicate, and dare I say it, sacrifice. But having someone to share your life with is so fulfilling and enjoyable, it\u2019s worth all the effort.<\/p>\n<p>Here are some strategies to fight pornography:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u00a0Recognize you are tempted and set boundaries.<\/li>\n<li>\u00a0Find someone you can talk to and who will hold you accountable at a determined frequency.<\/li>\n<li>Download a program on your phone and computer to filter out any pornographic images.<\/li>\n<li>Check reviews and ratings on movies before you watch them.<\/li>\n<li>Keep praying and don\u2019t feel condemned if you have moments of weakness. Just get right back to reinforcing your boundaries.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>8. Enjoy being \u2018Single\u2019. In the scheme of a person&#8217;s whole life, the single part is relatively short. Make the most of it.<\/p>\n<h5>Question<\/h5>\n<p>What do you enjoy about being single?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The apostle Paul\u2019s words speak about having an attitude of gratitude and contentment in whatever state of life we find ourselves in. I really believe we can apply these words to the subject of being single. What You Shouldn\u2019t Do When You Are \u2018Single\u2019 1. Don\u2019t focus on being single as a negative! If you focus on what you haven\u2019t &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[140],"tags":[491,448],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Chapter 9: Happy Being Single - #RelationshipGoals | The Blue Book<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/de\/chapter-9-happy-being-single\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"de_DE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Chapter 9: Happy Being Single - #RelationshipGoals | The Blue Book\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The apostle Paul\u2019s words speak about having an attitude of gratitude and contentment in whatever state of life we find ourselves in. 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I really believe we can apply these words to the subject of being single. What You Shouldn\u2019t Do When You Are \u2018Single\u2019 1. Don\u2019t focus on being single as a negative! 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