\u201cIn a Relationship\u201d is the phase when a couple declares their love for each other and announce it to their family and friends. It\u2019s official, they are boyfriend and girlfriend. The purpose of this phase is to confirmthe feeling that – \u201cThis person is the one for me\u201d. This is an opportunity to do a lot of fun things together, like going out to dinner, lunch, movies, concerts etc. You find yourself slowly moving towards higher levels of commitment with a view to eventually get married. Being in a relationship is a pretty good feeling, where you just know love is coming right back at you.<\/p>\n
1. Is he\/she fruitful?<\/p>\n
2. Is he\/she living according to God\u2019s moral standards?<\/span> 3. Is he\/she in the right place: spiritually and emotionally?<\/span> 4. Is he\/she surrounded by the right people?<\/span> 5. Is he\/she open to change and adventure?<\/span> 6. Does he\/she have great motives and attitudes?<\/span> 7. Is it the right timing?<\/span> 8. Does he\/she get along with your friends and family (the people around you)?<\/span> 9. Do we have more disagreements and conflict than good times?<\/span> 10. Can you picture your marriage being a great one?<\/span> Is there God\u2019s chosen partner for me?<\/p>\n So Isaac called for Jacob and blessed him. Then he commanded him: Do not marry a Canaanite woman (Non-believer). Go at once to Paddan Aram, to the house of your mother\u2019s father Bethuel. Take a wife for yourself there, from among the daughters of Laban (a family of believers), your mother\u2019s brother. May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and increase your numbers until you become a community of peoples.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n The interesting thing about this scripture is that he (Jacob) was told to choose from \u201camong the daughters.\u201d That means that there was more than one to choose from, and that it was totally his choice. Jacob chose \u201cThe one\u201d from a community of believers. The point is that we have choices. and God doesn\u2019t choose for us.<\/p>\n How do we know if he\/she is \u2018The One\u2019?<\/p>\n YOU JUST KNOW! Don\u2019t you just hate it when people give you this answer? But it\u2019s true! If you need to ask this question, then you probably haven\u2019t met \u2018The one\u2019. It\u2019s not something that you have to strive or try hard to make happen. It\u2019s fun and enjoyable, even though you may have had to put some effort into the early \u2018Friends\u2019 phase. There is a convergence of personal characteristics and Godly values that make \u2018The one\u2019 a perfect match.<\/p>\n Qualities to look for in the \u2018The one\u2019 are fruitfulness and joy.<\/p>\n Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n This scripture is not just talking about trees but Jesus is figuratively speaking of people and their lives.<\/p>\n If he or she sometimes loses control (emotionally and physically), and becomes irrational during conflict. Will this naturally improve over time?<\/p>\n NO!!! Usually, people are on their best behavior before they get married. So the \u201cbad\u201d behavior you see before marriage, is the \u201cbad\u201d behavior you will see after marriage. You might possibly see worse, and it won\u2019t be pretty, nor will it be an improvement.<\/p>\n How far can we go physically?<\/p>\n This is the question on everyone\u2019s lips. But the answer is, not far. This phase could include some physical contact such as holding hands and possibly some light kissing. So set the boundaries. \u2018Bikini Zone\u2019 and \u2018Speedo Zone\u2019 should be strictly off limits. If you find yourself crossing the line, reset your boundaries. For example, if you\u2019re crossing the line during kissing, then you might limit kissing time, or avoid being somewhere too private, or have a \u2018no kissing\u2019 rule. Do whatever it takes to keep pure. You are both responsible for this area of your lives.<\/p>\n Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n What is your view on long-distance relationships?<\/p>\n If you have been in a relationship for a while and then suddenly find yourselves having to move into a long-distance relationship, it might be possible to maintain the relationship and then pick up where you left off because you have already established a strong level of commitment. But if you have just met, or are just friends, or maybe even have gone out for coffee a couple of times, then you haven\u2019t had a real chance to establish any level of commitment yet. In this case, you don\u2019t know each other well enough to expect a high-level commitment from each other. Distance will make it hard for you to get to know each other well enough. Word on the street, from couples who have attempted a long distance relationship, is that it\u2019s not easy. Even couples whose long distance relationships worked out, say things like, \u201cIt was touch-and-go.\u201d<\/p>\n 1. Don\u2019t pair off and isolate yourselves as a couple. Keep mixing with your friends.<\/span> 2. Don\u2019t spend time alone together in each others apartment. Invite friends to hang out with you and leave the apartment when they leave.<\/span> 3. Don\u2019t ignore your boundaries!!!<\/span> 4. Don\u2019t be possessive! This person is not your property!<\/span> 5. Don\u2019t buy overly expensive gifts, unless it\u2019s a diamond ring! To buy expensive gifts might put pressure on your boyfriend\/girlfriend making him\/her feel like you\u2019re trying to buy their affection.<\/span> 1. Keep mixing with friends in a group setting. It\u2019s very important to keep building relationship with friends of the same sex. Just because you have a boyfriend\/girlfriend doesn\u2019t mean that your friends will stop needing your friendship and caring for you.<\/p>\n 2. Pray for your girlfriend\/boyfriend (for each other) and consciously release the other person into future opportunities with their career, education, ministry, etc.<\/span> 3. Define your life around God\u2019s will for your life, not around your boyfriend\/girlfriend.<\/span><\/p>\n 4. Being \u2018In a Relationship\u2019 is the guy\u2019s initiative! God set it up this way!<\/span><\/p>\n \u2018The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.\u2019<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n That means she probably won\u2019t be coming to you, but you have to get out there and look for her until you find her.<\/span> 5. Take as much time as necessary for both you and your key family members and friends to get used to the idea of both of you together.<\/span><\/p>\n 6. Set the physical boundaries!!!<\/p>\n 7. If your girlfriend\/boyfriend starts talking about engagement, it’s time to share your past, especially things that could affect your new relationship. For example, talk about previous sexual relationship\/s, sexual or physical abuse (it doesn\u2019t have to be in detail – most people don\u2019t want to know the details – just sharing that it happened is usually enough), share about any sexually transmitted disease, or if you have any bankruptcies, debts, health issues, etc. You should only share this information when you have reached a high level of trust and confidentiality. Most couples that reach this phase are highly committed to keeping all personal information confidential, even if they break up.<\/span><\/p>\n What physical boundaries would you like to consider setting?<\/p>\n 1. This is when a guy knows he is ready for the next level of commitment. He is confident of his love for that special someone, and would like to confirm that she has the same feelings for him. Usually this is a girl he has known for a while, and with whom he\u2019s had a number of enjoyable «coffee times.»<\/span><\/p>\n 2. He has a vision for his life and a good work ethic. Godly vision and discipline are twins, and are some of the keys to success in your life, whether it’s career, marriage, or parenting.<\/span><\/p>\n Where there is no revelation (vision), people cast off restraint (discipline); but blessed is the one who heeds wisdom\u2019s instruction.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n 3. Set out to win her affection. Get to know her and her world. Discover what you have in common, the things that could provide a good foundation for a long lasting relationship.<\/p>\n 4. He needs to show her family and close friends that he is the one she has been waiting for and dreaming about.<\/p>\n 5. Guys should set boundaries! Don\u2019t leave it up to your girlfriend to say, «NO!» Even though God holds both guys and girls accountable for how they use their bodies, show leadership by being the first to initiate setting the boundaries. Don\u2019t be influenced by what people in the world do.<\/span><\/p>\n
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\n<\/span><\/p>\nYour Questions<\/h2>\n
Question 1<\/h5>\n
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Question 2<\/h5>\n
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Question 3<\/h5>\n
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Question 4<\/h5>\n
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Question 5<\/h5>\n
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What You Shouldn\u2019t Do When You Are in a Relationship<\/h2>\n
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\n<\/span><\/p>\nTips for People in a Relationship<\/h2>\n
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In a Relationship: Tips for Guys<\/h2>\n