{"id":3252,"date":"2020-02-04T11:24:04","date_gmt":"2020-02-04T02:24:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/?p=3252"},"modified":"2022-09-07T12:36:58","modified_gmt":"2022-09-07T03:36:58","slug":"chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 4: Coffee Time (One-on-One)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Up until now all your interaction has been in a group setting<\/span>. T<\/span>his phase presents an opportunity for<\/span> a <\/span>guy\u00a0<\/span>to ask<\/span> a <\/span>girl out for coffee\/tea (one-on-one). The purpose of this phase is to openly reveal your interest in\u00a0<\/span>him\/her,<\/span> get to know each other a little more, <\/span>and gauge whether or not the relationship could go <\/span>the next\u00a0<\/span>level.<\/span> It doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re officially in a relationship, so it shouldn\u2019t be too serious, but light and fun.<\/span><\/p>\n

Your Questions<\/h2>\n

Question 1<\/h5>\n

How many coffee times should you have before you move forward?<\/p>\n

Answer 1<\/h5>\n

There are no rules! Generally speaking 2-3 times is the average. But feel free to go more or less as you see fit. The point is to discover if you want to move forward or not.<\/p>\n

Question 2<\/h5>\n

At what stage should I tell people?<\/p>\n

Answer 2<\/h5>\n

Because you\u2019re not officially in a relationship, we would suggest you only tell your closest friends. You could include your Connect Group leader, especially if they played a part along the way. But telling them is not a requirement, but rather a courtesy.<\/p>\n

What You Shouldn\u2019t Do in the \u2018Coffee Time\u2019 Phase<\/h2>\n

1. Don\u2019t be alone in someone\u2019s apartment. Coffee should always be in a public place.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

2. Don\u2019t spend endless hours on social media or phone.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

3. Don\u2019t expect commitment!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

4. Don\u2019t buy expensive gifts.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

5. Don\u2019t touch, or keep it to a minimum. Your arms around her waist, stroking his\/her cheek, or kisses on the forehead communicates a high level of commitment.<\/p>\n

Coffee Time should communicate \u201cI like you\u201d and \u201cI want to get to know you better.\u201d But there\u2019s no commitment at this phase. However, if you touch and then back away from the\u00a0 relationship, you could have a very broken\u00a0 hearted, or angry man\/woman glaring at you\u00a0 every time you see them..( Not a good feeling).\u00a0 Leave the touching for the \u2018In a Relationship\u2019\u00a0 phase. Look at the next chapter to see what\u2019s appropriate.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

6. Don\u2019t ask several girls\/guys to go out for coffee at the same time to see which one you like best.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

7. Don\u2019t only talk about yourself, but ask questions such as: \u2018What\u2019s your favorite\u00a0 childhood memory and why?\u2019 When he or she hesitates answering, DON\u2019T jump in and answer the question for them \u2013 \u201cMy favorite memory is . . .\u201d.<\/p>\n

Be patient and give him\/her time to think and answer before you speak.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

8. Don\u2019t ask a girl for coffee a second time if, after the first coffee, you are confident she\u2019s not the right one for you.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

9. Don\u2019t ask a girl for another coffee time if, after the first coffee, she tells you that she doesn\u2019t feel you\u2019re the right one for her.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

10. Don\u2019t go out for dinner or a movie at this stage as a one-on-one. Save this for when you\u2019re officially \u201cIn a Relationship.\u201d<\/p>\n

Coffee time is a low cost, low key way to get to know each other without commitment.<\/p>\n

\u2018Coffee Time\u2019: Tips for Guys<\/h2>\n

1. Take the initiative!<\/p>\n

Most girls feel uncomfortable in taking the initiative, so it\u2019s important you do. Of course, there are some girls who are happy to initiate, but they are in the minority. If you’re worried about how she will respond, you can minimize the risk of rejection by doing a little homework. Ask a friend to ask her who she likes. If she mentions your name then you\u2019re set to go.<\/p>\n

While initiating might be scary, it’s hard to shortcut this part of the process. Generally speaking, there is something admirable about a guy who can initiate and take the risk that goes with it.<\/p>\n

Lack of initiative, might leave some girls wondering – Is he not that into me? Is he shy? Or is he simply lacking confidence? Or maybe he\u2019s waiting for me to initiate? This is a concern for her because it could be that she will always have to take the initiative. For some girls this is a risk.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

2. Once she agrees to go out with you, prepare to make the one-on-one experience an enjoyable one for both of you. Rehearse in your mind the sorts of questions you would like to ask her. The quest-
\nions should be light and fun, regarding vision, likes\/dislikes, and background stories. The answers will generate more questions, so feel free to ask questions you didn\u2019t prepare to ask. But remember
\nto keep it light and fun; don\u2019t ask deeply personal questions about past relationships or hurtful experiences.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t expect the conversation will just happen. Put some effort and thought into what you do together. Take the lead!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

3. Be a courteous communicator. Talk and listen!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

4. Be a gentleman! Be complementary, open heavy doors for her, and let her have the best seat in the coffee house. However, picking up the bill is optional at this stage.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

5. Try to be reliable, someone she can count on and will feel secure with. If you cancel appointments, forget your wallet, or lose your train pass\/car keys, she might think you\u2019re adorable, or she might feel she can\u2019t rely on you.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

6. Be yourself! And try not to put too much pressure on yourself!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

7. Be personable, that means you are able to let your guard down and don\u2019t take your self too seriously. This will naturally happen when you\u2019re feeling relaxed. If after a few \u2018coffee times\u2019 you don\u2019t feel relaxed, then it could mean that she\u2019s not the right one for you.<\/p>\n

Question<\/h5>\n

Write down the top 3\u20134 questions you would like to ask.<\/p>\n

\u2018Coffee Time\u2019: Tips for Girls<\/h2>\n

1. I<\/span>f a guy has<\/span> difficulty leading the <\/span>conversation<\/span>, p<\/span>lease be patient and\u00a0<\/span>give him a chance. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

2. Be open to his ideas!<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

3. Give him a couple of chances to learn\u00a0<\/span>to relax.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

4. Dress up, wear make up, and<\/span> generally <\/span>look your best. <\/span>Make the outside as\u00a0<\/span>beautiful as the inside.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

5. Be yourself!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

6. Don\u2019t turn every guy away because you <\/span>have your sights set on an impossible <\/span>dream. Give the guy a chance and look <\/span>at him with an eye to discover potential. <\/span>That handsome prince that burst on to the <\/span>scene on his faithful white steed to sweep <\/span>you off your feet, might look more like <\/span>a young guy riding on a donkey.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

7. Be careful of comparisons. That guy that <\/span>you saw treating his wife like a cherished <\/span>princess, has had many years of coaching <\/span>from his “princess wife”. He didn’t get to <\/span>be that good <\/span>overnight.<\/span> He wasn’t born <\/span>with an incredible insight into women<\/span>. <\/span>He g<\/span>ained insight through trial and error,\u00a0<\/span>and a commitment to getting to know his <\/span>wife’s needs over time. So do away with any <\/span>unrealistic lists of things you want in a man. <\/span>A good list would be \u2013 he loves God, loves <\/span>people, loves you.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

8. Try not to broadcast your coffee time to too <\/span>many of your girlfriends. Well-meaning <\/span>friends could stir things up prematurely.<\/span><\/p>\n

Question<\/h5>\n

Write down the top 3-4 questions you would like to ask<\/span> during Coffee Time<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Up until now all your interaction has been in a group setting. This phase presents an opportunity for a guy\u00a0to ask a girl out for coffee\/tea (one-on-one). The purpose of this phase is to openly reveal your interest in\u00a0him\/her, get to know each other a little more, and gauge whether or not the relationship could go the next\u00a0level. It doesn\u2019t …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[77],"tags":[419,409],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nChapter 4: Coffee Time (One-on-One) - #RelationshipGoals | The Blue Book<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Chapter 4: Coffee Time (One-on-One) - #RelationshipGoals | The Blue Book\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Up until now all your interaction has been in a group setting. This phase presents an opportunity for a guy\u00a0to ask a girl out for coffee\/tea (one-on-one). The purpose of this phase is to openly reveal your interest in\u00a0him\/her, get to know each other a little more, and gauge whether or not the relationship could go the next\u00a0level. It doesn\u2019t ...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Blue Book\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-02-04T02:24:04+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-09-07T03:36:58+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/Blue-Book-Featured-Image-2024-opt.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1920\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1080\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Webteam\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Webteam\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Webteam\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#\/schema\/person\/e71f37301bbc51f8059bbeae121ce76e\"},\"headline\":\"Chapter 4: Coffee Time (One-on-One)\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-02-04T02:24:04+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-09-07T03:36:58+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/\"},\"wordCount\":1221,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#organization\"},\"keywords\":[\"Friendship & Community\",\"Love & Relationships\"],\"articleSection\":[\"#RelationshipGoals\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/\",\"name\":\"Chapter 4: Coffee Time (One-on-One) - #RelationshipGoals | The Blue Book\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2020-02-04T02:24:04+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-09-07T03:36:58+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Chapter 4: Coffee Time (One-on-One)\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/\",\"name\":\"Blue Book\",\"description\":\"Life changing, easy to use Bible studies\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Blue Book\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/cropped-Blue-Book-Website-Icon.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/cropped-Blue-Book-Website-Icon.png\",\"width\":512,\"height\":512,\"caption\":\"Blue Book\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"}},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#\/schema\/person\/e71f37301bbc51f8059bbeae121ce76e\",\"name\":\"Webteam\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ca0e74e94b3b46ff117f823c25204ebe?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ca0e74e94b3b46ff117f823c25204ebe?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Webteam\"}}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Chapter 4: Coffee Time (One-on-One) - #RelationshipGoals | The Blue Book","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Chapter 4: Coffee Time (One-on-One) - #RelationshipGoals | The Blue Book","og_description":"Up until now all your interaction has been in a group setting. This phase presents an opportunity for a guy\u00a0to ask a girl out for coffee\/tea (one-on-one). The purpose of this phase is to openly reveal your interest in\u00a0him\/her, get to know each other a little more, and gauge whether or not the relationship could go the next\u00a0level. It doesn\u2019t ...","og_url":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/","og_site_name":"The Blue Book","article_published_time":"2020-02-04T02:24:04+00:00","article_modified_time":"2022-09-07T03:36:58+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1920,"height":1080,"url":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/Blue-Book-Featured-Image-2024-opt.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Webteam","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Webteam","Est. reading time":"6 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/"},"author":{"name":"Webteam","@id":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#\/schema\/person\/e71f37301bbc51f8059bbeae121ce76e"},"headline":"Chapter 4: Coffee Time (One-on-One)","datePublished":"2020-02-04T02:24:04+00:00","dateModified":"2022-09-07T03:36:58+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/"},"wordCount":1221,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#organization"},"keywords":["Friendship & Community","Love & Relationships"],"articleSection":["#RelationshipGoals"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/","url":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/","name":"Chapter 4: Coffee Time (One-on-One) - #RelationshipGoals | The Blue Book","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2020-02-04T02:24:04+00:00","dateModified":"2022-09-07T03:36:58+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/chapter-4-coffee-time-one-on-one\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Chapter 4: Coffee Time (One-on-One)"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/","name":"Blue Book","description":"Life changing, easy to use Bible studies","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#organization","name":"Blue Book","url":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/cropped-Blue-Book-Website-Icon.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/cropped-Blue-Book-Website-Icon.png","width":512,"height":512,"caption":"Blue Book"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#\/schema\/person\/e71f37301bbc51f8059bbeae121ce76e","name":"Webteam","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ca0e74e94b3b46ff117f823c25204ebe?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ca0e74e94b3b46ff117f823c25204ebe?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Webteam"}}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3252"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3252"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3252\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3709,"href":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3252\/revisions\/3709"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3252"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3252"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bluebook.mylifehouse.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3252"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}